The Knot In My Stomach

I'm moving again this weekend. My dad offered to help, which is awesome. It presents a problem though. My dad doesn't know that I've been living with my boyfriend for a year now and that I'll be moving into a new apartment where my boyfriend will again reside.

At first I chose not to tell him because I just didn't want to deal with 1. him knowing that his only daughter was no longer a virgin, and 2. the judgment that his side of the family would place on me. For the past several months I've wanted to tell him. But everytime I'm with him I chicken out. My dad is a good man. I can't really remember a time when I felt like he was judging me or that he was angry at me. He has made plenty of mistakes in his life so I know he will understand. I'm not really sure what I'm so afraid of but I'm still so nervous. So now I'm in a position where I have to tell him within the next three days. The sooner the better. Now, not only am I a sinner who is having premarital sex, I'm also a liar who has been dishonest to my dad and his whole side of the family for almost a complete year. I don't even know how to begin the conversation. I've been thinking about it constantly for the past few days and everytime I'm aware of the thought, I get a nautious, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. When it comes down to it I'm an adult. I'm 26 years old, I fully support myself and even if he were to get furious and stop speaking to me (which I know won't happen) I would survive. I've psyched myself out now and I'm freaking out.

I'm going to call him when I get home from work and tell him. Wish me luck.